The Anger Trap!

Most people do not recognize anger as a normal emotion. Fact is that anger is one of the many emotions which are a part of human emotional repertoire. It is not possible to never be angry! But it is possible to be angry all the time or be so angry that it steals all the happiness and peace of mind from one’s life. The kind of anger which makes people act without thinking or gets them in legal or interpersonal trouble needs to be managed. The scariest thing about anger is that it tends to grow as perceived needs are not met and yet, stops others from helping the person having those needs (fear of attack or hurt).

Anger management therapy is often done by people who have been ‘mandated’ to do it. Clients may start therapy as something which is a chore, but many realize that it is a life changing decision. The ‘anger trap’ is what I describe as the clients’ inability to connect with people because loved ones/ family/ colleagues are too scared of them and then becoming even more distant and angry as they yearn for love and respect. The disconnect grows and they become trapped in their own world of resentment and isolation.

Psychotherapy helps angry people to understand their anger and what feeds into it. It also teaches them tools to manage their anger while learning new ways to deal with it. Understanding the ‘anger cycle’ is paramount. Communication skills, how to deal with explosive anger, thought distortions leading to constant or periodic anger, self fulfilling prophecies about self and others, how to break the cycle  and becoming more compassionate towards self and others are just some of the ways one learns during counselling.The goal is to acknowledge, regulate and grow.